High school exchange students are not allowed to make life-changing decisions such as getting a tattoo or...getting married! But how could 16-year-old Luca Brambilla have guessed that signing up for track & field would change the course of his life? (Wedding Photo Credit: Oberports Photography)
Before coming to the USA from Lake Como, Italy, multiple people gave me the same piece of advice: avoid dating anyone here as every exchange student is ultimately destined to return home before summer. I am usually one to follow advice, but I made a big exception in this case.
Liz and I started dating 50 days before my departure. My last few weeks in West Virginia were a whirlwind of memories, experiences, and warm feelings but, among all this, one thing was increasingly clear: this was not the end of a journey, and this would not be my last time in West Virginia.
My story tends to spark questions. Was it easy? Was it a good decision? Has everything worked out? And, what’s my advice for other high school exchange students who might be thinking of following in my footsteps? Let me share my story first. Then I’ll answer a few questions.
In September 2014, I left Italy to travel to Elizabeth, West Virginia. What was my first impression? My definition of rural changed. Immediately, I realized that my rural home in Lake Como, Italy feels more like a metropolis compared to the average Appalachian town.
I was fortunate enough to have been assigned a tremendous host family who had already hosted exchange students in the past. They already knew how to ensure I would be immediately welcomed with open arms and have a smooth transition to my new life. I could not have asked for a more welcoming, warm, and generous host family, as they took me under their wing like a son and supported me in my endeavors every day.
Even after six years and countless Walmart trips, I still feel a little rush of that same excitement every time I step foot into one.
I will never forget the first thing we did after we got out of the airport: a big trip to Walmart. Often taken for granted by most Americans, I have yet to meet a foreign person whose jaw does not drop the first time they visit a Walmart. There is just nothing like it and, even after six years and countless Walmart trips, I still feel a little rush of that same excitement every time I step foot into one.
I attended Wirt County High School in Elizabeth, West Virginia as a junior. There were just over 300 kids at the school and I was one of only 60 kids in my grade. I was the only exchange student in the entire school.
Wirt County High School Football Game, October 2014
Tucked between endless hills and forests, Wirt County has the smallest population of any county in West Virginia. Nonetheless, this proved to be a blessing in disguise for my experience.
I quickly made friends with lots of people, and I was readily welcomed by the community. Since high school was so much more than just classes, I decided to try and embrace as many extracurricular activities with my peers and host family as I could.
My first seven months as an exchange student were jam-packed with fun and adventures shared with amazing people. I signed up for everything from volunteering at the local animal shelter with my host mother to partaking in the choreography of the Nutcracker.
I enjoyed being an active member of my host family’s community church and spending time with other exchange students from the area on ICES trips including a visit to Niagara Falls.
Despite all of this, the last three months of my experience were possibly even more thrilling. Following a super harsh winter with temperatures dropping below -20ºF and an entire week off school because of snow, I decided to try my hand at a sport. Little did I know that this decision would change my destiny!
I knew I liked to run, and I was already friends with some people on the squad, and thus I decided to join the high school’s track & field team. After a couple of rough weeks where I was soundly outrun by everyone on the team, I gradually improved and happily trained as a medium-distance runner, and eventually ran at the West Virginia State meet for the 4x400 relay.
While practice and meets took up most of my free time after school, I never once regretted my decision to join track. That may have also had something to do with someone I grew close to while on the team: Liz.
Liz and I had been friends since around October, but we started to truly grow closer to each other during track practices. She was a grade above me so we never shared any classes but, especially in the spring semester, we would always have lunch at the same table with other mutual friends. Often, Liz would offer to drive me home after track practice, as she lived close by my host family.
As for Liz and I, we have now been married for two years. You may have questions, so please allow me to take a step back and sum up the last five-plus years. Then I'll answer a few questions.
After I went back to Italy to finish high school, Liz and I had a long-distance relationship for a few months. Then, my premonition was correct; I returned to West Virginia and joined Liz at Marshall University for my undergraduate degree. Occasionally I was able to return to Wirt County and visit my host family and familiar places.
Liz and I got engaged in the summer between my sophomore and junior year of college. Then we got married in the summer of 2019, right before my senior year. Today, we live near New York City and attend graduate school in the area, but we both have a soft spot in our hearts for West Virginia.
My host family knew Liz and liked her. My host parents were really supportive. They just wanted to be sure that I knew what I was getting myself into with a long distance relationship.
We started dating around 50 days before departure. It was the end of my year and I wanted to make sure no one was left out. We would try to spend time with each other but include the families. Many times I went to Liz's house or she came to my house. Often we were at track events where both families were present.
At first they knew that I liked Liz and that I had been friends with her for awhile. They were also super happy about it but wanted to make sure I knew what I was doing, that I didn’t hurt anyone’s feelings, that I knew it was a commitment and that I understood that the long distance wouldn’t be an easy step to overcome.
Following my departure, my host family and I kept in close touch throughout the year. They even came and visited my home in Italy during the following Easter.
They’ve been really supportive and always had my back. It hasn’t always been easy. They’ve been there for me in the most sad and difficult moments when I was homesick. They’ve made an effort to visit as much as they could and to be aware of my life and what I’m doing. They’ve made an effort to be part of my life in a respectful and not invasive way. They give advice, but in a really nice, constructive way.
My mother and my wife have an excellent relationship. It’s been awesome the way that has developed.
My parents were super happy about Liz but wanted to make sure I knew that the long distance wouldn’t be an easy step to overcome. They wanted to be sure I didn't hurt anyone's feelings.
I encourage exchange students to make sure they know that a long distance relationship requires a daily commitment which requires that you make some sacrifices in terms of time if you want to video call every day. This is something to keep in mind if you want to continue your relationship.
When I left the United States I knew I would try my best to come back one way or the other. That might not be everyone’s case. It's a good idea to have some plan to go back, even if it’s just to visit.
Students should try to be open with their host family. It's good to give them some clues or information before you actually commit yourself to a relationship. It's important to spend time hanging out with your host family and significant other at the same time.
If your student wants to commit to a serious relationship, make sure they know exactly what that means in terms of possibly continuing that relationship after the year is over. Be open about your concerns, about how much time the student should spend with the family. Be open about your expectations.
My life in the United States has been great because of all the opportunities to do things outside of academics, like going on a road trip or going outdoors. I'm a huge outdoors person. That’s been one of my favorite things.
A big part of my life in the USA has been related to school. Currently I’m a graduate student doing my PhD in Microbiology and I love the way they allow you to explore and it’s not just tied to funding, for example.
The door is definitely open to that possibility. It really depends on our jobs and future careers. Our careers are better suited for the United States. If something happened or there was an opportunity we would be open to that. My wife has been to Italy many times and possibly is more open to that than I am.
I know it sounds cliche, but - aside from the people - food. I miss the way that eating is conceived in Italy. We live to eat. In the United Stated you don’t live to eat, you eat to live. Food back home is a way of bringing people together. Food is something you eat at the table together and share your day. This is something I don’t see so much here, but I try to incorporate it into my life in the United States. My wife and I do this together.
It would be an understatement to say that my year as an exchange student completely changed my life. I could have not imagined any of what happened in the past years, but none of it would have been possible without the adventure of being a sixteen-year-old in a new country, family, and school for a little over ten months. From the first Walmart trip to the last campfire roast-out before my trip back to Italy, being an exchange student is a truly indescribable opportunity that opens your world up to unimaginable adventures, possibilities, and people that will change your world.
Photo credit: Oberports Photography
Writing this story gave me the opportunity to look back at this experience and look over my blog, My Year in the USA, which I kept during my exchange year. It is far from extensive, but it captures some glimpses of my life as an exchange student, and all the excitement and adrenaline it entails.
Being an exchange student is more than a way to make friends and visit places; it’s a transformative step in life, and one that has an indelible impact."