ICES Blog

What Your Exchange Student Should Know About U.S. Etiquette

Written by Lily Vesel | Nov 1, 2024 11:35:43 AM

As an international student, adjusting to a new culture can feel overwhelming. Especially when it comes to understanding the cultural norms and etiquette in a country as large and diverse as the United States. As you spend more time with your host family and new community, you’ll notice differences in how people behave in the U.S. compared to your home country. But don’t worry, we’re here to help! We’ve listed some cultural tips to help you navigate student life in the U.S.

 

Politeness and Expressing Gratitude

In the United States, people see polite communication as a sign of respect. Using phrases such as “please,” “thank you,” and “excuse me” in daily conversations will go a long way toward building positive relationships. Refer to this list for common polite phrases you can integrate into your everyday interactions.

One easy way to practice politeness is by expressing gratitude when somebody does something nice. Build this habit by paying attention to the nice things that your host family does and communicating your appreciation with them. For example, if your host mom cooks your favorite meal, saying something like “that is so thoughtful of you” or “I appreciate you” will show her how much you appreciate her- U.S. style.

 

Personal Space

Personal space varies across cultures. In the U.S., getting too close to someone can make them uncomfortable unless you’re a close friend. People in the U.S. generally prefer more space than people from other countries, usually keeping about an arm’s length away when meeting someone new.

When greeting someone you don’t know, shake hands with them and smile. Don’t initiate a hug or a kiss, as this is not recognized as a greeting in U.S. culture.

 

Punctuality

Being on time is very important in U.S. culture. Showing up on time for any events, whether for class, a social event, a family dinner, or a team sports practice, is seen as a sign of respect for others. If you know you’ll be late, let someone know in advance. This is considered polite and shows that you value their time.

Interactions and Greetings

People in the U.S. are generally friendly with strangers. You might hear strangers strike up a conversation in the grocery store or in the elevator as if they have met before. Don’t be afraid to interact with people you don’t know- this is not seen as impolite.

One common greeting that might confuse you is “How are you? Or How’s it going? People in the U.S. use this question the same way as saying “Hey” or “Hello” and don’t expect an answer. In response, you can give a short answer like “good” or “fine” and ask the question back. Don’t actually tell them how you are feeling, as this question is simply meant to be a greeting.

 

Dining and Tipping

Most people in the U.S. eat three times a day (breakfast, lunch, and dinner). Dining etiquette includes:

  • Placing your napkin on your lap during the meal
  • Waiting until everyone has been seated and served before eating
  • Passing around shared dishes- particularly when eating at home
  • Cutting up large pieces of food before eating, except for pizza, burgers, and sandwiches, which are often eaten with hands
  • Chewing with your mouth closed
  • Not slurping or drinking your soup but eating it with a spoon instead

When you are invited to dinner at someone’s home as opposed to a restaurant, it is polite to bring a small gift such as flowers or dessert. If you’re unsure whether to bring a gift to someone’s house, ask your host family! They will help you know when this is appropriate.


One unique aspect of U.S. culture is tipping. When eating at a restaurant, you are expected to pay your server a 15 or 20 percent tip, as they are primarily paid with tips. Other services that often expect tips are taxi drivers and hairdressers. Your host family can help you know when and when not to tip, as this can get confusing!

 

Host Family Etiquette

Families in the U.S. communicate- a LOT! If you’re ever unsure of the house rules, the family routines, or anything else, just ask. Contribute to household chores such as setting the table or cleaning up after meals to show appreciation for your host family. If you’re unsure how to help, offer to do chores that your host family does. For example, if you see your host mom washing the dishes, offer to help her! This will show your host family that you appreciate them.

 

You’ll learn so much about U.S. culture firsthand during your study abroad. Sometimes, you’ll learn by making mistakes, and that’s okay! People will understand that you’re adjusting to a new culture, so don’t be ashamed if you don’t know what’s expected in certain situations. As long as you’re trying, people will appreciate your efforts! Don’t be afraid to ask questions and communicate openly. Sometimes, asking questions is the only way to get better at something. By following these tips and observing others, you’ll adapt to U.S. customs and etiquette in no time. Before you know it, you’ll be an expert on U.S. culture!