Hosting a student from a different country means more than just exploring food, festivals and fun. It’s also a wonderful opportunity to dive into cultural norms. These are the hidden rules that shape how people behave and interact in their everyday lives.
But what exactly are these rules, and how can you and your student dive into each other’s cultures together? Let's explore together!
Cultural norms are the unwritten rules of the game of life as it is played in a particular culture. They tell us what’s “normal” in a given society. They shape how we greet people, what we eat, how we communicate, how we show respect, and even how we celebrate holidays. Often, we don’t even realize we’re following these rules because they’ve been ingrained in us from a young age.
For example, in the U.S., it’s common to greet someone with a handshake or a smile. In some countries, a bow or a kiss on the cheek might be more appropriate. Cultural norms differ across the world, and that’s what makes this hosting experience so exciting!
Before diving into your student’s culture, start by reflecting on your own. If you're curious about things that surprise foreigners in the USA, take a peek at this post: Americans Do The Strangest Things.
Here are some examples of cultural norms we take for granted in the USA:
In the U.S., it’s common to have dinner around 6 or 7 p.m., but in Spain, dinner might not happen until 9 or 10 p.m.
Americans tend to use these phrases frequently. In other cultures, showing gratitude may be more about action than words.
In the U.S., people often like to have a bit of “personal space” when talking to others. In some cultures, standing closer to someone during a conversation is perfectly normal!
In many American homes, wearing shoes inside the house is completely acceptable. But in many countries, such as Japan or Turkey, it’s considered polite to remove your shoes before entering a home.
In the U.S., tipping is a standard practice. In many European countries, however, tipping is less common, and service charges are often included in the bill. A student from France or Germany might find it odd when you add 20% to your dinner table!
Take a few moments as a family to talk about what’s normal in your household. You’ll be amazed at how many “unwritten rules” you follow without even thinking!
Next, it’s time to get curious about your student’s background. You’ll likely notice some differences in how they do things. Here are some common cultural norms you might encounter:
Your student might greet people differently than what you’re used to. For instance, a student from Japan might bow, while a French student could greet you with a kiss on both cheeks.
Some cultures place a strong emphasis on hierarchy and respect for elders. If your student hesitates to call you by your first name, this could be why!
Your student might be used to eating certain foods that are unfamiliar to your family. In some cultures, rice is a staple at every meal, while in others, bread is more common. Ask your student what meals they’re used to and try making some together!
In some countries, like Japan or South Korea, gift-giving is an important part of social etiquette. If your student brings small gifts when they visit someone’s home, this may be a way of showing respect and gratitude.
In the U.S., making direct eye contact is often seen as a sign of confidence and attentiveness. But in some cultures, such as in parts of Asia or Africa, avoiding direct eye contact is considered a sign of respect. Your student may feel uncomfortable holding long eye contact and that’s perfectly okay!
A host family in Texas learned that in Brazil, it’s common to greet people with a hug—sometimes even people you’ve just met. At first, the family found it surprising, but by the end of the exchange, they were greeting all their friends the Brazilian way!
Exploring cultural norms doesn’t have to feel like a serious exercise. Make it fun! Here are some ideas for making cultural exchange fun and fascinating:
Pick a night each week to explore cultural norms from around the world. Ask each family member to search for an interesting cultural norm from a different country. Imagine together what it would be like to live by those norms.
Work with your student to brainstorm a list of cultural norms from their country. Challenge your family to live by your student’s cultural norms for just one whole day. It’s a great way to create empathy and laughter!
Food is a huge part of cultural identity, but don’t settle for recipes. Ask your student about the food culture back home. When do they eat? What do they eat at each meal or snack time? With whom? What foods are considered healthful? And what about table manners?
As you and your student navigate each other’s cultural norms, it’s important to remember that these differences are not good or bad—they’re just different! Sometimes, misunderstandings will happen, but that’s okay. The key is to approach every situation with an open mind and a sense of curiosity.
Encourage your student to talk about what feels different or challenging for them. This can lead to some amazing conversations about the values behind your respective norms. You might discover that a practice you never thought much about, like family mealtimes, is a deeply important ritual in your student’s home country.
Hosting an exchange student is a two-way street. Not only is your student learning about American life, but you and your family are also expanding your horizons. Celebrate that! And have fun with it.
And remember: it’s not about getting it “right”—it’s about exploring, learning, and growing together.
Happy hosting!