Do you dream of visiting Spain one day? Hosting an exchange student from this warm, fun-loving Mediterranean country could be a wonderful experience for your family. But first, read this.
Every year thousands of young students from Spain pack their bags to head for the USA. They are so close with their Spanish family and friends, it’s hard to say goodbye. But they can’t wait to make new friends - and family - in the USA!
Mario (far right) made many friends during a very successful year blending in to his American host family and attending the local high school.
Your family could be a good candidate for hosting a student from this extremely family-oriented culture, but there are a few things you should know before making the leap:
Spanish exchange students María, Eva, and Mario contributed ideas and pictures for this post. Thank you to all three of you for sharing your valuable experience.
ICES regional and national staff also pitched in. Every year they receive hundreds of kids from Spain. Thanks to them, this guide will help you host a Spaniard happily forever after!
Spanish teenagers come equipped with some serious bonding capabilities. And you can really enjoy hosting them - if you know what makes them tick. The key is to activate their culturally built-in bonding system, and that’s what this host family version of Spanish Culture 101 is all about...
The Spanish Family
Family is everything in Spain. You might be surprised to learn that most Spanish teenagers actually enjoy regular family time and meals together. Weekends are often reserved for eating long, leisurely meals with extended family (grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins).
This is good news for American host families looking for family-oriented exchange students. Expect your Spanish teenager to sign up for family meals, trips and even simple things like running errands and grocery shopping.
Just be advised that Spanish parents are firm about family first, and you should be too. Like all teenagers around the world, sometimes a Spanish teenager will want to put something else first. But fortunately, Spain’s “cultural programming” is set to this preference, so your student will understand when you say, “It’s family time.”
The Spanish Food/Eating Culture
Fun fact: in Spain, it is bad manners to go into someone’s kitchen and open cupboards or get into the refrigerator. Therefore, your Spanish exchange student might feel uncomfortable with your invitation to just “help yourself”.
Food is serious business in Spain. Parents usually decide what’s on the menu. Teenagers are responsible for showing up, sitting down and eating what they’re served. Therefore, most Spanish teens aren’t used to figuring out their own food (more than occasionally).
What does this mean for host families? Simple! Talk about food. Explain how food works in your family - and put it in writing. Create a mind map as you speak, then post it on the fridge for the first couple weeks - then conduct a check-up. Does your student have any questions? What does he/she like about the way your family does food and eating? What is surprising or shocking? What challenges is he/she trying to overcome? How can you help?
Students from Spain thrive better when they establish an eating plan that works for them - and their host family. They like to fit in and feel like they’re doing “the right thing”. Just a little investment of time and training goes a long way in this department.
The Spanish Household
If your student from Spain has a “maid” back home, does that mean he/she is from a wealthy family? Probably not.
Most Spanish people prefer to forego many (many) things before living without domestic help - even just once or twice a week. In fact, possibly the only people in Spain who don’t have hired help at home are… the helpers.
On the bright side, most Spanish teens are used to pitching in and helping out around the house where needed (with light housework). What they need in the USA is a list of chores - in writing - and some hands-on training at first. Simply demonstrate each task the first time - and then watch your Spanish teen get the job done after that.
The Spanish Education System
Academics are top priority for students from Spain. If they sign and pass classes that validate in Spain, they will get full credit. If not, they have to repeat the school year upon return. This is a huge incentive to be responsible and get good grades in the USA.
Back in Spain, school is still mainly based on rote memorization of facts related to Biology, Physics, Chemistry, History, Philosophy and so much more. A year of critical thinking and hands-on learning in the USA is a huge breath of fresh air.
The Spanish Social Life
Spanish teenagers need help understanding that their social life in the USA revolves around school and school activities. It’s so different in Spain where school is all about academics and everything else happens elsewhere.
Most Spanish parents can give their teens a lot of freedom because they’ve probably known their friends - and the friends’ parents - since preschool or earlier. And thanks to urban living and good public transportation, many kids can easily meet up with their friends as they wish.
Most Spanish teens thrive in the US. They usually don’t need much time to sink into school, sign up for a sport or other activity and then make friends (lots of them).
The Spanish Connection
Like all good Mediterraneans, Spanish kids enjoy a tight connection with their parents… and siblings, grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. And families from Spain are generally thrilled at the prospect of adding an American branch to their family.
On the bright side, your family could make many friends in Spain! On the flip side, your student might need a little support at first to trim the Spanish apron strings and focus on a new life in the USA.
“Students from Spain can share their culture and traditions with their host families,” says Eva. “They can also share their hobbies and if they cook they can prepare a meal for the family!”
María agrees. “We can cook for our host family and teach them to cook or how to play a Spanish card game. And we can share our life experiences and traditions - and compare cultural differences.”
Spanish people really enjoy talking, getting to know people and doing things together,” explains Mario. “We can share our Spanish way of life and the way we see things.”
In a previous post, we explored the following 15 Reasons to Host a Student from Spain:
To dive deeper into each of these excellent reasons to share your life with a Spanish exchange student, check out the post "15 Reasons to Host a Student from Spain" and watch the video "Make a Friend in Spain."
Spanish teenagers love learning about American culture. After so many years learning English from textbooks, they want real life experience! And you might be surprised at just how simple it is to make their dreams come true.
“I love baking and cooking with my host family,” says Eva. She’s had a ball baking chocolate lava cakes, chocolate cheese cake, banana bread, key lime pie and so much more. And she has thoroughly enjoyed learning to make a wide variety of sandwiches: BBQ, brisket grilled cheese and BLT’s to name a few.
More simple, fun activities to share with your student from Spain:
Spanish teenagers can adapt well to a wide variety of families. They just need a few basic ingredients to function well: a good measure of affection, a dose of togetherness now and then and a pinch of genuine interest in bonding with them and learning about their country and culture. Here are a few ideal host family profiles:
What are the keys to hosting a Spanish exchange student happily ever after? ICES staff shares their valuable experience in this list of practical tips for host families - with a comment or two from our panel of Spanish exchange students:
Clear rules and expectations set the stage for success. Map out your rules in writing and post them on the fridge: chores, expectations for simply picking up and pitching in, curfews, schedules, family time.
What’s your definition of a clean kitchen? How do you like laundry done? When do kids need to find their own rides? Use the ICES Home Sweet Home guide to discover hidden expectations you didn’t know you had.
In Spain people value close relationships and lots of sharing, so take advantage of this and keep the lines of communication open. Tell them how you feel and what you want. And if you keep tabs on how your student feels and why, you can learn a lot about Spanish culture.
Maria recommends lots of open communication, especially during the first few weeks, “Talk with your exchange student and show you care during the first weeks so he/she feels accepted.”
Give your Spanish student direct feedback, instructions and warnings. Do not sugarcoat your message because they won’t get it. Spanish teenagers grow up with very direct communication from adults - especially at school. Your honesty is a gift that will help your student adapt to your family and thrive.
Just because your student from Spain speaks good English does not mean he or she understands you. Culture plays a huge role in what we pay attention to. So, while you say one thing, your student could hear something totally different. What does your student think you said? Ask. Listen. Then clarify.
Be Affectionate (Very)
Adapting to a whole new culture is exhausting at times. Spanish teenagers miss their very affectionate Spanish family and friends. They will thrive on a little attention, a lot of listening and plenty of hugs. Treat them just like a real family member. Include them in everything. Keep them close.
Jaime Barea Velez (second from left) from Seville, Spain enjoys a close, supportive relationship with his host family in Missouri this year. And Jaime happens to be ICES Student of the Month. Be sure to read his story!
The best way to manage the Spanish connection is to have a good relationship with the Spanish parents. Once they know and trust you, they will probably help you limit video-calls to once a week.
The second best way to manage the Spanish connection is to get and keep your student on board. Help him/her see that youth exchange is a once-in-a-lifetime experience. Family and friends in Spain will be waiting with open arms at the end of the program.
Most Spanish kids are happy to do chores, but they need help. Put chores in writing. Then show your student exactly how you like things done. Demonstrate each chore. Watch your student try it out. Give clear, direct feedback. Then let your student take it from there.
“Explain to the student what (you, the host family) expect from them,” advises Eva. “Explain what chores they have to do and how and when to do them.” As she points out, “Some things might be obvious for (you), but not for the student.”
Be Realistic (and Patient)
Be realistic and patient about chores. American chores are very different from Spanish chores (i.e. “setting the table”). Spanish kids need time (and honest feedback) to get the hang of it. But once they do, they will feel proud and happy to be bona fide members of the family.
Take advantage of Spanish cultural values and invite your student to help you putter around the house and yard, run errands, get the groceries, cook dinner, volunteer at church, set up a garage sale - whatever is on your agenda. Asking your student to tag along is a great way to boost your bonding.
“In my view, Spanish teenagers need a few days to get used to their new life in the USA,” explains Mario. “But once we settle in, I think we are fun, outgoing and love having a great time doing things together with our host family.”
Spaniards are the warm, gregarious, fun-loving members of the European family. Your student from Spain has been learning how to be open and participative since day one. Take advantage of that. Enjoy this experience!
Life is short. Why can’t every day be a fun fiesta? Hosting a student from Spain is a step in the right direction. Let your Spanish teenager show you the way.