Imagine this: Your new exchange student sits down at dinner, slurps loudly through a bowl of noodles, and then says nothing about the meal. Your first thought? “How rude!” But here’s the twist: in their home country, that might be the ultimate compliment.
When American families open their homes to international students, one of the biggest surprises isn’t the accent, the food cravings, or the fashion choices. It’s the tiny cultural habits that sneak into everyday life. What feels polite in one country can feel rude in another... and vice versa.
So let’s play a little game: Rude… or Not Rude?
1. Food & Table Manners
Food is where cultural misunderstandings shine brightest.
Germany: If your German student says, “This is fine,” and doesn’t gush about your cooking, don’t worry. Germans tend to be sparing with compliments. Saying the food is “okay” is their way of being honest, not ungrateful.
France: You might notice a French student leaving a bite or two of food on their plate. In many homes, finishing every crumb can look like you weren’t served enough. Leaving a little means “I’m satisfied.”
Japan: That loud slurping of noodles? It’s not bad manners — it’s proof the meal is delicious. A Japanese student might worry that eating noodles quietly seems rude!
Real-life moment: One host mom in Ohio confessed she almost scolded her Japanese student for “sloppy eating” until she learned that noodle-slurping in Japan is a form of gratitude. She ended up laughing — and trying it herself.
2. Talking Styles & Conversations
Americans value politeness, “softening” our words, and waiting our turn in conversation. Not every culture works that way.
Spain & Italy: Expect lively dinners. Students may talk loudly, interrupt, or overlap your words. Far from being rude, it’s how they show excitement and engagement. Silence can feel awkward to them.
Germany: Germans are famously direct. If a German teen says, “This tastes strange,” or “That’s not correct,” they’re not trying to insult you — they’re just being clear. Honesty is a form of respect.
Thailand & Korea: Students may pause before answering, avoid saying “no,” or speak in a roundabout way. That’s politeness in action. Direct refusals are often avoided to preserve harmony.
Real-life moment: A host family worried their German student was being critical when he corrected their pronunciation of a German city. He thought he was helping! Once everyone laughed about it, it became a running family joke.
3. Greetings & Respect
How people say hello, goodbye, or show respect varies wildly.
Spain, Italy, France: Students may lean in for cheek kisses or stand closer than Americans are used to. This is warmth, not boundary-crossing.
Japan & Korea: A student might bow, avoid eye contact, or seem “shy” with adults. In reality, not making strong eye contact is a sign of respect.
USA vs. Asia: We shake hands. They bow. Awkward moments happen — but they’re rarely rude.
Fun fact: A host dad once tried to “teach” his Korean student to “look me in the eye when we talk.” The student felt deeply uncomfortable. Once the family learned the cultural difference, they stopped insisting — and the student relaxed.
4. Time & Schedules
Time is another cultural landmine.
Brazil: Arriving 10–15 minutes “late” to a social event is normal. Being right on the dot can even feel stiff.
Germany: The opposite! Arriving even a few minutes late can seem disrespectful.
Italy & Spain: Social time is more flexible. Dinner may start later than American families expect, and running a little behind isn’t considered rude.
Real-life moment: A Midwestern host dad was frustrated because his Brazilian student “never left the house on time.” The student explained, “Back home, showing up late is friendly — it means we’re relaxed with each other.” Once the family understood, they agreed on house-specific rules: “In this family, late means rude.” Problem solved.
5. Gratitude & Politeness
Politeness is perhaps the trickiest cultural script of all.
France: A French student may not say “thank you” for every little thing. But don’t take it personally — gratitude is often shown through action, presence, or tone rather than constant words.
Japan & Thailand: Gratitude is often expressed indirectly — by offering help, respecting family rules, or giving small gifts.
USA: Americans tend to verbalize thanks often, and we may expect a cheerful “thank you” after even small favors.
Real-life moment: One host mom thought her French student wasn’t thankful because she didn’t say “thank you” each time she drove her to school. Later, the mom realized her student was showing appreciation by baking a cake for the family on weekends. Same gratitude, different language.
So… What Is Rude?
Here’s the punchline: when something feels rude, it usually isn’t. It’s a cultural misunderstanding.
Of course, sometimes behavior really is rude: ignoring house rules, refusing to communicate, or showing deliberate disrespect. But before jumping to conclusions, it’s worth asking: “Could this just be cultural?”
Final Takeaways for Host Families
Before jumping to conclusions, here are a few ideas that can prevent cultural misunderstandings and promote peace, harmony and fun...
- Pause before reacting. Ask: “Is this behavior normal in their culture?”
- Laugh, don’t lecture. Humor smooths over awkward moments.
- Explain your family’s expectations. Provide a road map.
- Be curious. When in doubt, ask
Hosting an exchange student isn’t just about giving them a home — it’s about stepping into another culture without leaving your kitchen. If something feels rude, chances are, it’s just another way of being polite.
In the end, the best host families know this secret:
Curiosity beats judgment every time!
