Your student comes home after school looking frustrated. They drop their backpack, flop on the couch, and say, “Everything is so different here.” Maybe they’ve been complaining of stomach aches, or maybe they’ve seemed unusually quiet and homesick.
If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Many host families experience this stage with their students. What’s happening? Most likely, it’s culture shock, and believe it or not: this is not a crisis. It’s a normal, even healthy, part of the exchange journey.
What Is Culture Shock?
What is culture shock? It's stress, the stress of adapting to so many changes at once. At first, everything feels exciting and new. But as weeks go by, differences start to add up. That stress can show up in two ways:
- Physical signs: headaches, stomachaches, fatigue, changes in sleep or appetite.
- Emotional signs: sadness, homesickness, boredom, frustration, anxiety, negativity.
None of this means your student is ungrateful or rejecting your family. They’re simply adjusting. However, don’t dismiss health concerns. If necessary, check with a doctor.
From Caterpillar to Butterfly
Think of culture shock like a caterpillar becoming a butterfly.
• Caterpillar = your student’s life before exchange, familiar and comfortable.
• Cocoon = the sticky middle stage, when new ways aren’t natural yet.
• Butterfly = the outcome: a more resilient, confident young person.
The “cocoon stage” isn’t pretty. Students may seem tired, irritable, or withdrawn. But this is where transformation happens. By the end, your student won’t just adapt, they’ll emerge as a true cultural bridge.
Signs You Might Notice
Every student is different, but common signs include:
• “I’m so tired.” Adjusting to language and routines is exhausting.
• “I don’t like the food.” Meals are tied to comfort and identity.
• “I miss my family/friends.” Homesickness comes in waves.
• “School is too hard.” New systems can overwhelm even strong students.
• “Everything is weird here.” Negativity is a natural stress response.
These are stepping stones, not dead ends. With support, students move through them.
5 Ways You Can Help
1. Talk About It
Ask gentle questions: “How are you feeling?” or “What feels hardest right now?” Sometimes just naming it (“this sounds like culture shock”) is enough to bring relief.
2. Normalize It
Let your student know: “Most exchange students go through this stage.” Hearing that others have felt the same way helps them realize they’re not alone.
3. Encourage Healthy Habits
Stress is easier to manage with balance. Encourage good sleep, meals, exercise, and downtime. Even a short walk can reset their mood.
4. Stay Patient and Positive
Don’t take mood swings or negativity personally. They’re signs of stress, not rejection. Keep inviting your student into family life, even if they sometimes resist.
5. Get Support if Needed
If stress feels overwhelming or health issues persist, involve your local coordinator or see a doctor. You don’t need to solve everything alone.
Why Culture Shock Is Good
It’s tempting to see culture shock as a problem, but it’s really a sign of growth. When students wrestle with differences, they’re learning resilience, adaptability, and perspective.
For host families, this stage is also rewarding:
• You provide the safe, steady base your student needs.
• You witness their transformation firsthand.
• You grow in patience and cultural understanding alongside them.
Final Thoughts
Hosting is about sharing life, not avoiding challenges. Culture shock is just one stage in that shared life, a stage filled with potential. With patience, empathy, and support, you help your student emerge stronger, more adaptable, and ready to embrace two cultures.
Thank you for being the steady home that makes this transformation possible. Culture shock isn’t just about surviving a tough time, it’s about becoming the butterfly.
