The honeymoon is over when homesickness hits. Your high school exchange student was so excited to get on that plane and fly into your life. But now you’ve landed in a routine and your new teen has time to think about home. What can you do to help him or her adapt and be happy again? Let’s look and see…
Keep Calm
Homesickness is normal. Some people feel it more, others less, but it is normal and temporary – unless we choose to wallow in it. When sadness strikes, you can reassure your student that this is okay. Then you can discuss ways to manage melancholy and feel as good as possible as this teen builds a new life with you.
See the Good
Homesickness signals love. We miss the people and things we love. In this way, your student’s homesickness is a tribute to dear loved ones and a good life back home. How can homesickness spark gratitude? How does it help us appreciate people and things we’ve taken for granted? Check and see what your student thinks.
Limit Contact with Home
What? Limit contact with home? It sounds mean and heartless. But every time your student sees mom and dad on a video call, sadness will soon ensue. Talk with your teen about choices. Will he or she choose to make homesickness worse – and prolong it? Or will they choose to take a shortcut to happiness by disconnecting with home to connect with the new life you share?
Promote Common Areas
Bedrooms breed homesickness. Your student is juggling millions of changes big and small: new home, new family, new school, new friends, food, language and more. The bedroom is perfect a hideaway to relax…and connect with people back home. Again, talk with your teen about choices. Which is the fastest way to adapt to life in a new country: Hanging out in your room or staying in the common areas where the action is?
Encourage Busyness
Your student is homesick, and how about bored? Going abroad means leaving behind a busy schedule and familiar activities. Is your student having a hard time figuring out what to do? You can sit down together and brainstorm appropriate activities your student can do to keep busy – and forget about nostalgia – in your home and community.
Talk about FOMO
Fear of Missing Out does not help anyone ease into an international experience. And even if a student is not in contact with people back home, he or she may be following friends and family on social media. Is your student experiencing FOMO? Why not ask? It may help to imagine together all the adventures your student will have to share at the end of the year.
Focus on the Goal
Before they go abroad, teenagers must answer this question: “Why?” Why do they want to leave the comfort and safety of home to study in a different country? Top answers include “to become more independent” and “to grow up and be more mature”. These are common goals – and real benefits – you could review with your student when things look bleak.
Motivate vs. Obligate
Homesickness is a funny thing. We can choose to make it bigger or smaller, better or worse – but no one can force us to let go of it. Your student is at a crossroads. If you can lay out the options clearly, he or she can make the best choices.
Every year, thousands of teenagers around the world get on a plane and fly to another country for a year abroad. Most of them experience homesickness. Most of them get through it. And most of them find it hard to say goodbye and go back home at the end of the year.
And that’s why, every year, thousands more teenagers get on planes…
